Donald Trump's October Surprise Isn't

(March 14, 2016 note:  This was written in October 2012, in the runup to the 2012 Presidential elections.  And now this "moving, loud, obnoxious gaper's block" is a front-running Presidential candidate. Stunning. Truly stunning.) 

(September 12, 2016 update:  I wrote this article in 2012.  Never in my wildest imagination did I think that Trump would be a REAL candidate for Prez in 2016, that he would WIN the Republican nomination, and that he would seriously challenge for the office of President!  What is happening to our country?)

Classic Donald w/ Bad Hair

I admit that he had me.  

I just had to look up The Donald's "Surprise" as soon as it was announced, and I felt the same as when I watch "Intervention" on T.V. ...   I know I shouldn't do it, and I feel slimy afterwards, but it's that kind of bizarre pull that makes good people stare at an auto accident... and The Donald is truly nothing more than a moving, loud, obnoxious gaper's block.

Donald Trump has been broadcasting for days now an "October surprise" that would be a game changer in the November election.  Though most people and most media outlets were sure this was nothing, there was still that strange pull to the gaper's block with the bad combover.  Rumors were swirling as to what the revelation would be:  More about Obama's drug use while in college decades ago (which Obama himself has already made public?)  More about supposed divorce papers written up by Michelle Obama when she and the Prez were having a bad spell back in the early 2000's?  Michelle Obama herself has admitted they were having some difficult times back then.. which they worked through. 

But no, none of the above.    

From Michael Sidky on Facebook.. Credit below

This "classy" guy, who has declared bankruptcy 3 or 4 times now, who has overlapped wives, and who has impressed t.v. audiences by being a big jerk who obviously gets some kind of sadistic joy from firing people (just like someone else the Republicans know and love), is now challenging... actually bribing... the President of the United States, Barack Obama (who has more class in one toe than Trump has in his entire bloated body) to reveal his college applications and transcripts.  Trump's bribe is that if Obama does release these documents, he will pay 5 million dollars to the charity of Obama's choice.

The Obama campaign swatted away the offer as one would swat off an obnoxious fly.  They suggested that the press talk to the Romney campaign about the "offer" as The Donald and The Willard are tight.

I love Jason Linkin's take on this at the Huffington Post:  

Was Donald Trump's Announcement A Gigantic, Pointless Waste Of Time Promulgated By A Venal Con Artist?

To which the one word answer is "Yes!".

Just found this morning on Facebook:

Found on Facebook.. I can't read the credit, however.

Trump's a Chump 

Addicting Info headlines this UnDrama with "Trump's a Chump".  We couldn't have said it better.  AI also speculates that there is some information about to come down the pike on Romney, brought to us by Gloria Allred.  I personally do not feel that this will go anywhere, but it is interesting speculation.     

Let's not forget this charming incident from back in the spring.  Addicting Info blasted the colorful headline "Donald Trump Sexually Harasses Nation" about Trump's "offer" to feminist attorney Gloria Allred:   Allred was representing transgendered Jenna Talackova, a contestant in Donald's Miss Universe pageant.  

Ms. Talackova had been kicked out of the contest:

"with the argument that contestants must be “natural-born women,” although it states nothing of the sort in the rules. In a comment to Trump..., Allred said that Talackova, “didn’t ask Mr. Trump to prove he’s a naturally born man, or see photos of his birth, or to view his anatomy … It made no difference to her.” 

So of course, the natural response to not being asked to produce his junk is to offer to produce his junk…if Allred pays him. Later, just in case there was any question, Trump called into TMZ just to say, “I think Gloria would be very very impressed with [my penis].”

Ah, yes, the Onion:

The Onion gets it right:  Trump announced that he is a very sad man.

"In a blockbuster announcement today, Donald Trump announced that he is a very sad man who has nothing to live for other than drawing attention to himself. "I'm a sad, pathetic human being and a complete waste of life," said Trump, adding that he lives an empty existence, and that he is nothing more than a corporate shill..."  

Yep, it is satire, but the bizarre thing is that the Onion doesn't even have to write much satire this year with so many bizarre stories coming from the Republicans.

If you still have any questions about those "sealed" Obama records, Factcheck is your friend HERE.

No, The Donald isn't running, but do we really want this guy to have any influence in the national political discourse at all?  What if Romney appointed him Secretary of Commerce?  Or Secretary of Labor?

Crazy hair photo found HERE.  What is that in The Donald's hair?